The First Step

He screamed until he could no longer remain conscious. He screamed out of pain from the puncture wounds on his neck. He screamed scratching his attacker over and over again ‘til his fingers bled. He screamed out for help. Screamed out of pain but no one heard him. No one heard him, not even the people passing a few feet from him.
Tossing his body aside, Izumi licks her blood-stained fingers clean, “young ones, always making a fuss” she complains. Glancing down at her ripped lace sleeve she frowns, “Aw man! I loved this shirt”
Putting her black fuzzy jacket back on, she ensures that the body is seated upright with all his wounds healed, before leaving the alley. Pretending to shiver, She zips up her jacket as while making her way between the humans dressed in various costumes varying from sexy to adorable. She holds in her laugh at the ones dressed as ‘vampires’ wishing she could just tell them that vampires have never worn a cape unless it was to make a fashion statement. But they look so adorable with all the red paint running down their mouths and white paint on all their exposed skin. Today was Halloween, or at least that’s what humans called it anyway. For her, today was feeding day and her would-be-one hundredth anniversary with her only lover. But one can never have two things at once: either you are well fed and healthy, or you are in the company of a lover, or if you are fortunate enough, you’ll have a family. But never all. That was the rule of life. You always have to give something up to get something else, that way you don’t become greedy and never forget what it means to have a soul.
Getting bored of human watching, Izumi speeds back home ensuring that no human eye can see her. Home, that used to be just a human dream she desired to have so badly. Home used to be something she dreamed off and wrote about in napkins she burned after. She wished to have something to call hers that wouldn’t die, get old, or be unfixable. But now after 35 centuries, she is able to call her small cottage home. Now after painful solitude she had a physical place to call her. Now there is no need to be on the move every day. She can buy decorations and expand her wardrobe without worrying about what she was willing to leave behind. She can now have a couch and mugs to drink warm blood out of. But despite having a permanent home, she misses the days filled with running away holding on to her lover’s warm hands. She misses the nights filled with those violet sparks coming from within him every time he would open a portal to a new city, pull-out dinner, or a new dress for her to wear. Those days were never filled with easiness, but she felt so calm by his side. He was the only source of warmth for her cold limbs. He was the reminder that she had a heart, not a beating one, but one that could still feel. That can still love. But he is gone now. ‘It’s better this way anyway’ she reminds herself, ‘Vampires are not supposed to mix with warlocks or anyone for that matter”
Pausing at the crossroad between her path home and down memory lane. She opts for a detour seeing as today was so special. Enchanting the grave watcher into dreamless sleep, She walks down the path she knows too well admiring the shiny stars and the aroma of dead and freshly changed flowers. On days like this when the stars are at their brightest, the human stay away from their dead love ones. ‘silly humans always making shortcoming decisions’ Izumi thinks wishing she too were as silly as those breakables and dying humans. When the soil is freshly put back into its place, the humans always make it their priority to come every day to either cry or insult the body underneath all the grass and flowers. They come time and time again with food and beer. Some come to sing, and others just come to enjoy a sunny day. But they all eventually stop coming either by choice or their living life takes over. Despite the years that have passed, she cannot bid her last farewell to this cemetery like other humans have. The thought of never coming back has never crossed her mind for something so dear and painful was buried here by her broken self. In her only time of weakness and complete desolation she came here, hoping that the human’s way of dealing with grief will help her keep going.
Her eyes mist over while tracing the purple letters spelling Kairo on the tombstone. Each letter was carefully carved onto the white marble by her own hands one hundred years ago. She stood in this very spot drench in her own blood crying over a warlock who promised her love and care to only toss her aside as a used napkin. She stood here with the moon as her witness of when she tried to bury her feelings for him. Of how she tried to believe all the hurtful words he called her over and over again until her spirit was broken. She stood her with the owls and crickets as her witness of the night she lost it all. She lost him and she lost herself in attempts to understand how parting ways that way was the best for both.
Tracing her long red nail across her wrist, she lets it sink deep enough to let it break skin. She lets her nail reopen the wound he caused when he broke her heart. Blood trickles down her wrist into the tombstone, staining it red just as the night when she placed it there. But this time her tears refuse to fall to wash it away.
Her hands reach for her locket at the sounds of twigs breaking under the weight of someone’s body. Feeling for a warning of who was approaching the deserted part of the cemetery. Her ears twitch at the movement of everything that surrounds her. Her feet itch with the need to leave as soon as she senses something wrong. The autumn breeze shifts the fallen leaves back and forth bringing with it the waft of the all-to familiar honeysuckle and burnt wood scent. Closing her eyes, she allows herself to be embraced with the familiar presence of someone whom she misses so dearly. She allows herself a moment of vulnerability and hopefulness of what that scent could mean of what the scent once meant.
“I hope my headstone will have more of a certain je ne sais quoi that this one lacks, maybe less weeds and more living flowers, under a tree will be great as well,” the voice behind her laughs awakening her anger, “But I have to admit that I love the touches of purple in the lettering”
Turning to face the voice, Izumi scoffs, “This is the only one you’ll get from me. You can have someone else arrange a better one once you die”
The man standing before her shows no change other than the switch from silk clothes to cotton ones. He looks just as he did when she first met him on her first trip by boat. His young-filled sense of adventure and lovely appearance attempts to bring her back to the past when she was naïve to think that a monster like her deserved something as pure as the love he offered.
The man frowns, “Wishing for my death so soon! Should I be flattered or offended?”
“How you feel has nothing to do with me anymore, you made it very clear”
The man smiles, “I did, didn’t I?”
Izumi forces a smile, “Best thing that happened to me, so a thanks is in order,” stretching out her hand she continues, “Kairo the warlock of Nasmond, I thank you! Tossing me aside when you did, allowed me to achieve greatness. Without you by my side I was no longer held back and used my full potential as the killer that I am.”
With trembling lips, she looks into his purple eyes, attempting to ignore the pain that swims inside them, “without you I was able to eat until I could no longer walk from satisfaction. I ate and ate all the exquisite meals I could get my hands on. Thank you!”
Retrieving her outstretched hands, she closes it in a tight fist inside her sweater pocket. She bows her head slightly before walking past him, savoring the last scent of honeysuckle with firewood that are so uniquely his. Passing by him, she sneaks her last glance at his silver hair, wishing to forget how soft it felt when she used to run her finger through them. Sneaking a last glance at his callus filled palms from all the labor he puts them through to help others. Sneaking a last glance to the purple sparks from his hands that match so well with her own hair. The callus hands that held hers tightly when she was first learning to love someone as good as him. The parks of his magic that once claimed her as their own. The sparks that showed her that she was not a monster that deserved hate. Rather a creature like any other that deserved the best of those she encounters. The warm hands that showed her a world filled with possibilities.
Her steps come to a halt at the touch of his magic on her trembling shoulders, “Please don’t go” he softly begs
Izumi’s tears fall hearing his painfilled voice. Her tears fall, feeling how sad his magic is, how exhausted it is. But she refuses to turn around. Refuses to make the same mistake twice.
“Zumi, please! I made a mistake”
“We both did but it was fixed!” she cleans her tears before facing him again, “We are fine now. We are in our own right paths”
His hands sparkle behind his back, “I was wrong then. Vampires and warlocks can be together! We can! I’m sorry I thought I was doing the right thing then, but I was wrong. I am wrong. I-I-”
“No! you were right. You being here, talking to me is wrong, so let’s pretend this never happened and go on about our lives”
Swallowing hard he takes a careful step towards her, “I have not been able to forget you. I think of you every day, every second of my damn life. I cannot keep going like this. I might as well die now! That’s how I feel without you! I thought we were too different, that we could not function together”
“And we couldn’t! I could not feed without you worrying about the human losing blood. You could not go out during the day because I could not. You couldn’t save the people you wanted because I held you back. I was an obstacle. And I couldn’t be a proper vampire with you there. The constant walking on eggshells got to us.”
“That’s all in the past! We are different now!”
“I almost killed you! You breathe, eat, and live as a human. I survive on the blood pumping veins of living things. I survive off what keeps you alive.”
Her hands tremble remembering them stained in the blood of someone she loved dearly. Tearing his wrist and neck in search of satisfying her hunger despite his pain filled screams. She didn’t, couldn’t control her hunger, even when she was hurting something so precious to her.
Taking another step closer he extends a trembling hand to wipe away her tears, “I was wrong, I made you starve. I guilt trip you into starving because I didn’t understand you. I pushed you away because I was guilty. Because I hated myself for what I forced you to do. I am to blame for that, not you. I—”
Seeing his red rimmed eyes shedding tears breaks her un-beating heart. His eyes are not meant for every shade of sad filled tears. His is not meant to be put through so much pain and heartache that she has place upon him. Pulling him into her cold embrace she lets her sobs out. Sobs from their previous goodbye. Sobs from their reunion after such a long time apart. She hugs him tenderly. She hugs him with all her pain and happiness of having him again, even if just briefly.
The wind picks up, blowing the leaves up and down making a shield between them and the prying eyes of the night. Holding his warm tear-stained face in between her stone-cold palms, Izumi takes in the warmth and love in his eyes for the last time. Moving her palms down to his neck, massaging his shoulder blades.
“what are you doing?” he whispers
“shh! Just look at my eyes”
Locking eyes, Izumi lets her last tears fall, “I love you so much, you know. All the time we spent together and even right now will forever be engraved in my mind, my soul.” Wiping away his tears she continues swallowing hard, “Forget me, forget all of our time together”
Sinking her nails into his neck observing his wide eyes as his blood leaves his body. Extracting her teeth, she sinks them into his neck injecting her venom into his blood stream. Taking a step back she glares into his love filled eyes.
“For the past century, you, Kairo the warlock of Nasmond, have been traveling the world giving a helping hand to anyone that needs it. Among those you have helped and saved, Izumi was just someone you helped come to terms with her new identity as a vampire. She lived with you for a short amount of time before venturing out on her own. Tonight was just moment to catch up.”
Seeing the love slowly being terminated in his eyes, hurt but it was a must. Walking way from him taking the tomb stone with her was hard. Her legs refused to move but the sun’s slow awakening works as a push for her to leave.
One step and then another. One foot in front of the other. One useless breath after another. Izumi walks out the commentary waving goodbye to the grave watcher for the last time.